Saturday, September 1

Heartache !

Assalammualaikum and Hello There !

Fuhh ~ lama x update . busy habissss ! btw , WELCOME SEPTEMBER , BYE AUGUST ! new chapter begin . as usual . kisah cinta aku x pandai habis . mesti ada masalah , again , again and AGAIN ! I just broke up with Pajil . maybe teda jodoh or maybe aku yang bodoh time tu . but seriously , time couple aku nda rasa sayang dia 100% , maybe around 80% lar . but after I let him go , seriously , my feeling up to the max ! 

IDK why ! aku rasa something different there . napa aku start ada feeling berabiss dgn dia time kami uda broke up . I still keep searching on him , always text him , I CALL HIM ! but i'm the one who leave him . idk what happen to me . seriously ! I just through this situation long time ago . why this happen now ?! aina cakap maybe aku sunyi , aku try contact dgn kawan lelaki lain , but different :/ I still want him . but I'm EGO ! but jujut ada ckp " kau uda ludah , kau mau jilat balik ? " fuhh ~ mmg lar aku x nak . but . . . 

Actually , the real story why I broke up with him is , aku sakit hati dengan dia . malam tu kami texting as usual and dia ckp dia mau jaga anak buah dia . after that , he didn't text me until i falling asleep . sakit hati sangat . aku rasa macam aku kena ignore . then pagi tu aku merajuk x mau balas text dia . but then we fight and idk why aku terus ckp mau break . after we broke up , I still can handle my feeling as usual . tapi lama lama aku mcm lain dgn dia . he always with me . I keep dreamed about him . 3 days before broke up aku ada tanya dia , " kalau one day kita TER-break , then aku mau kau balik , kau mau aku ? " he said " kalau aku teda gf time tu aku akan terima kau . but for sure aku akan terima kau balik sbb aku suka kau " . he said that to me ! but , sepa juga mau malu kan ? 

So now , I have to move on . aku lali uda kena break , kasi break and what so ever . I still have god , family and friends with me . I know I can survive without him . aku kuat ! even dalam hati , mmg aku still syg dia , mmg aku still need dia , tapi aku uda lepas cakap and no one can take it back . idk if he read this blog , i guess not . but , what actually im going to tell him is ,

" Dear , im so sorry for what i have done . me salah . im in rush minta break . seriously , i regret it . but nevermind , u seems like don't want me anymore . maybe you need stay away from me , so that I can get rid this feeling . seriously , i still love you , i still want you , i still need you in my life . me mau u pujuk me and say u love me if u do :'/ "

damn ! why im so emo for make this entry ?! I have to take a rest . 

Bye !